Santa Claus Shakes Up Pet Food Industry
North Pole – December 19, 2025 – In a move that sent shockwaves through the global pet food and animal feed industries, legendary figure Santa Claus today disclosed a dramatic change in the dietary regimen for his world-famous team of flying reindeer. Effective immediately, the entire herd, including Rudolph, Dasher, and Prancer, is now being fed exclusively human-grade food, abandoning traditional feed-grade formulations.
Santa Claus made the surprising announcement during a brief press conference at the North Pole. When questioned about the shift, he emphasized a commitment to the highest standards of nutrition and well-being for his magical livestock.
“For too long, the standards in animal feed have failed our beloved pets and working animals,” Santa stated. “After seeing the questionable definitions and allowed illegal ingredients in typical feed—including the FDA’s open allowance of diseased and decomposing animals—I knew a change was necessary. My reindeer deserve the best, and that means minimally processed, human-grade quality ingredients, and manufacturing practices.”
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Santa mentioned that many FDA and AAFCO officials who have neglected pet food safety over the years will find coal in their stockings this year. He did not, however, reveal their identities.
This move comes amidst growing consumer awareness regarding the often-misleading labeling and ingredient quality in commercial pet food. Santa’s disclosure highlights critical differences between “feed grade” and “human grade” products:
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